Whether you continued onto post-secondary/tertiary education at home, or moved abroad for school, depending on your area of study, for the next 3-4 years, a lot of your life will be engulfed by school.
For most of us as students, the main focus is advancing through the years, going to lectures (and/or labs), writing papers, exams, theses, and working towards the ultimate goal of this chapter in life: Graduating from university or college.
A lot can happen in those 3+ years, so it makes sense that not many people really laser focus on what they're going to do after. It takes a lot of energy to get ready for an 8am lecture, far less trying to decide what you're gonna do when you graduate.
Life tends to start knocking on your door in those last weeks before you start your final year of school. With the finish line becoming closer in sight, the stress of the next pending chapter can begin to build.
Some people seem to always have things figured out, knowing exactly what their path will be. (Here's your daily reminder to not compare yourself with anyone else around you though.)
I personally had no clue what I would do after I graduated. That's why during my undergrad I tried my best to divide up my time between living in the moment (and everything that came with moving abroad for university and all the life experiences of living in a brand new country) but also trying to not lose focus on what could come next once school was over, and I had that expensive paper (aka my degree) in my hand after all those years of hard work put in.
Once I did graduate though, I felt like I entered into this weird void type space, almost operating in limbo.
The only definite I knew at the time, was that I wanted to continue living in Canada.
Due to several factors, I came to the deduction that my next best option was to apply for a Post-Graduate Work Permit, but this meant that my next step in my journey to wherever my life was leading me, wouldn't be to continue school (despite how badly I wanted to) rather, I would have to start working, adulting-adulting, paying taxes etc... and a girl (aka me) knew nothing about where to even start.
This is where the weird void type of feeling came in.
You've just spent the last 3+ years dedicating your life to earning your degree, and now that you've gotten it, depending on how situated you feel in life, you're probably like okay.. now what?
As an immigrant, you ideally have three options:
◉ 1.) Continue your post-secondary education and go on to work towards earning a Masters or PhD (Paired with those concerning, increasingly high international student tuition fees.)
◉ 2.) Apply for a (Post-Graduate) Work Permit (PGWP) and begin your life in Canada through the lens of a foreign worker.
◉ 3.) Returning home.
For me, options 1 and 3 were out of the question, so I went with option two - applying for a PGWP.
The thing is, for me, I knew that would be my next step on paper.. but once I had gathered all the documentation and applied, the familiar question of "now what?" returned like it had never left.
The 'obvious' next step after applying for a work permit, was well.. finding work.
There are some job guides that show you the job types you need if you're thinking about applying for permanent residence down the line, but some are so broad, while others are so specific and specialized, that anytime I logged onto LinkedIn, (or any job board for that matter) I would close off the site within minutes, feeling so overwhelmed by the responsibility that is well, life, all in my hands.
A.k.a, if I mess up, or make a bad decision, I would only have myself to blame.
We can all agree that the uncertainty and stress that came with the pandemic made life a little tougher across the board, and for a brand new international graduate now entering the Canadian work world for the first time, with basically 0 knowledge on where to even begin, it was a shaky entrance into life post-graduation for me.
I internalized that stress during that void time after submitting my final paper in April 2021, thinking that I needed to now dedicate, basically my soul, to finding a job.
Instead of taking that time after finishing a four year degree to just take a beat, take a break, take just a deep breath and pat myself on the back for completing my degree with Honours in the heights of a pandemic, and accomplishing more goals than I even set out to complete.. I was more preoccupied with the next unconfirmed step, with the uncertainty of what would come next and feeling like I needed to be as prepared as possible.
Especially as an immigrant, I felt that pressure of needing to always have a set schedule, having that structure, being afraid to fall out of line and just feel the wind on my face a little and do nothing.
Uncertainty is one of those things that just drives me crazy.
I was more focused on all the bills that had to get paid (especially rent) and how I would begin earning some income, and how much income I would even need for basic survival.
Toronto is not a cheap city to live in, and as a university graduate, no longer a university student, I also didn't feel as comfortable turning to my parents for financial support.
Looking back now however, I wish someone would've told me to take that beat, take that break, enjoy that void space between no longer technically being a student, but also not yet being employed. Being free.
The freedom you have a student compared to someone working a 9-5 job is one thing, but the freedom of no responsibilities as soon as you finish that undergrad chapter, it's truly unmatched.
And I wasted so much of it stressing over earning income, job searches, applications and interviews.
If I could turn the clock back, I probably would've taken a trip out of the country during that void time post-graduation. (Although Covid did make that idea a little harder to realize.)
The lack of autonomy I sometimes feel in this 9-5 work life box, I would do almost anything for just a moment to myself again where I could wholeheartedly make decisions on my own, without having to check with anyone.
Just a moment in time where I'm free to make a decision for myself that wouldn't affect anything down the line.
If you take anything away from this blog post, keep these two things in mind:
◉ 1. Celebrate your achievements.
YOU are the main person putting in the work to achieve your goals and make your dreams come true. Your achievements and accomplishments are your own, and you deserve to pause and celebrate them, bask in them. Take a beat. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to live in the moment, live in the present, live in today.
It doesn't hurt to plan yes, but you literally never know what could happen tomorrow that could drastically alter your life, whether for better or for worse.
If you spend all your time worrying about what's to come, what is happening right now will pass you and you'll end up feeling constantly unfulfilled, and unsatisfied in life. You have nothing to lose by celebrating you, taking some time for you.
◉ 2. Don't be afraid to ask, or seek out help when you need it.
Being independent is something that's often encouraged, but there is something so uplifting and motivating about community support, and there is no shame in going to anyone for help.
Just talking to those who know you best, and can help clarify any confusion you may be experiencing as you transition between life chapters and life journeys can be a huge help.
Change is always uncomfortable, so it's good to have those you can reach out to in a moment of need, to maybe tell you when you're not acting like your usual self. Those people who can help push you to take that break you've been needing, support you in your decision making, or to just give you a push in general you might've needed to try something new.
In my observations since moving away from home, to a country I had never been to before.. studying a degree I sometimes second guessed.. graduating during a global pandemic and struggling to find jobs that I felt were a good fit for me - taking a break can provide you with some clarity, that even if you don't know where you're going, you can quiet all the noise to help you accept that you are where you're meant to be, and what's for you will find you (or you can go out looking for it.)
Use that free time you get once you've finished school to do something for you, because a lot of times in life, it feels like we're doing everything for everyone else but ourselves.
That void space time can be a weird feeling, a moment in life with no set structure (Eg. no longer having a class schedule or a huge life goal on the horizon to achieve aka - graduating) but life isn't just about checking things off a to-do list for the rest of eternity.
Life is also about enjoying those little moments, like getting to wake up on a Wednesday at 11am and having the entire day to do whatever you want to do.
Regardless of what you decide to do next, whether you decide to continue with school, start working, return home, or even just do nothing, that void space after another life chapter completed, I see it as a little reward.
Time is precious, your time is precious, treat it like such!
And to anyone who might be finding themselves in the same boat as me, with no real idea as to what they're doing right now, no idea what the big end goal is, still feeling like you're operating in limbo.. just know that you're not alone.
As someone who typically finds solace and structure in academics, this has been the longest I've been out of school since primary school basically.
I'm still struggling in understanding my next steps in life post-graduation too, but I'm hopeful that we're all going to figure out what life has in store for us overtime (hopefully sooner rather than later, cause this wait in limbo is slowly driving a girl crazy) but they always say go with your gut and go where you feel wanted, respected, and celebrated.
(Still in the trying stage over here.. will check in again when I feel like I've hit another milestone or just had an ah-ha, 'it makes sense' moment.)