2021 was an interesting year.
We saw the increased availability of vaccines, lots of back and forth over lockdowns and re-openings, more international travel happening - but we also saw the introduction of yet another COVID-19 variant; Omicron.
Overall though, things felt like they were slowly and gradually picking up. Travel back home wasn't as impossible as it was last year, and I was able to book a plane ticket home after much internal back and forth (I had this looming fear that the Canadian borders would restrict international travel halfway through my trip home.)
Once December hit, I booked my PCR travel test, and continued making sure I was following all the health guidelines as best as I could, even double masking in most cases.
In my head, I was being super safe, super careful.
By Mid-December, everything was booked, Christmas gifts were organized, my parents were ready and excited to have me home, and I was planning on surprising all my other friends and family who didn't know I was coming home, after not having seen any of them in over two years.
My flight was set for Christmas Eve, meaning I'd literally be home just in time for Christmas. It all seemed perfectly set up. Nothing could stop me from finally going home.
Or so I thought.
During the week before I was meant to leave, I'd woken up with a slight dry throat, paired with just the ever so slightest tickle.
I thought nothing of it initially. I often forget to turn my humidifier on before I go to sleep (which I'd forgotten to do that night) and wake up with a dry throat that usually soothes out with a glass of water - but thinking of how soon my flight was, the thought of it being COVID did pass through my mind.
The next day the dry throat had subsided, just a small tickle left over that again, I thought nothing of because it came and went. I was able to do a rapid antigen test just to settle my mind, and it came back negative - but something still felt off to me. Especially after finding out from a quick google search, that an antigen test is not nearly as effective as a PCR test in detecting COVID-19.
Around the end of the week though, the dry throat was creeping back, paired with some random episodes of sudden dizziness, and I couldn't shake the thought anymore that maybe just maybe, I could have COVID?
I spent hours combing through websites trying to find a place that would let me do a PCR test, panicked, as my head filled with all the news articles I'd recently read about how the Omicron variant symptoms were some of the mildest of any COVID variants to date.
Demand for PCR tests had skyrocketed since the news of Omicron broke, paired with it being the holiday season, but luckily I was able to book an appointment.
The entire time I was more or less convinced it couldn't be COVID-19. Lots of websites say that a sore/dry throat is a common symptom, but it didn't feel any different to any other sore throat I'd had in the past, especially during the winter months when the dry air and cold weather combo can have a toll on your body.
But, because of how similar COVID-19 symptoms are to a regular cold, you can never be too sure, and something was telling me I needed to check it out - my travel date was coming up.
I went to do the PCR test, my first time ever getting one done. That deep nasal swab they use is pretty uncomfortable, and the feeling after having the cotton swab shoved in my nose lingered for about an hour afterwards, but honestly, it isn't that bad.
After they took the sample, they said it could take up to three days to get the results back.
So I went home, called my mom, and we were both proper convinced that it wasn't anything to worry about, just calming any worries.
The next day, I woke up, checked my email first thing as I always do, and lo and behold, there it was - the email saying my PCR test results were ready... already.
It hadn't even been 24 hours yet.
Following the instructions in the email, I logged onto the health portal, plugged in my information, and waited for the page to load.
Buffering... Buffering..
Boom.
Positive for COVID-19.
My heart broke in an instant. I felt like my whole world had come crashing down before me, barely a week before I was meant to finally fly home and reunite with my family and friends. I was shocked to say the least.
I felt like I had been so safe, so careful, so cautious.
Since the beginning of December I was bursting with excitement that I was finally getting to go home, hug my parents and my granny, and my dog. See my friends, eat some good food, and ultimately, not spend Christmas and New Year's all on my own.
Again.
For the second consecutive year in a row.
But, it was all too good to be true, because after two years of being overly cautious, I caught COVID the week before Christmas.
There were lots of tears and emotions that day. My parents were upset. I was upset, frustrated, trying to find things to blame it on, wondering if I did things differently or if different choices were made earlier on, if I could've avoided all that disappointment that came crashing down on me, (since I'm really only ever at work or at home) but I'll truly never know.
As days passed I learned that a lot of people were catching COVID just around the holidays - people who also hadn't caught COVID since the pandemic first started.
My test results didn't confirm what variant I contracted, but I just assumed it was Omicron based on how literally everyone everywhere seemed to be getting sick, paired with experiencing some relatively mild symptoms.
By about the third day, I got a call from Public Health checking in to find out what and how my symptoms were and to give me more information, like how you can still continue to test positive for COVID-19 up to three months, even if your symptoms have gone and you’re no longer considered contagious. The doctor told me I would be done with quarantine and isolation by Christmas day, but in my mind I knew I had nowhere to go anyway.
The week that followed, a couple more symptoms sprung up. My sore throat turned into a heavy cough. In the beginning I could barely get a sentence out without coughing. I had some fatigue and cold-like symptoms, such as heavy congestion, but nothing too serious, and my sense of taste and smell were still more or less in tact.
I am extremely grateful that I didn't get too sick, as we all understand how fatal this virus has been since it was first detected and spread.
There were regular calls coming in from family and friends, checking in, rightfully concerned, giving me some traditional Caribbean health advice: Use lots of Vicks to rub down my chest, add or avoid certain food items in my diet, drown my pillows in eucalyptus oil, make sure the humidifier is running 24/7, just to name a few.
The homesickness definitely hit me a little harder this time around. Compared to 2020, I already knew I wasn't getting to go home with the borders being closed at the top of the list of reasons why. In 2021 though, there was hope brewing as the world began to reopen, but all that came crashing down with one email.
My mom and my sister, in their best efforts of trying to boost my Christmas spirit, found a catering company in Toronto called TOBEN that was doing a Christmas menu, and ordered a meal to have it delivered to my apartment on Christmas Eve. That way I could also have a special Christmas dinner of my own, even if it wasn't in the 30° Trinidad heat surrounded by familiar faces.
I really love them for that, because the food was amazing! They picked the dishes from the menu that they thought I'd like most (which I loved) and it was the first Christmas gift I received for the season.
They ordered appetizers of spring rolls with plum sauce, some tequila lime roasted shrimp with a pineapple salsa, the main course included some Cantonese vegetable fried rice and hickory wood smoked beef brisket, and for desert, a family style berry crumble. That food lasted for about 3-4 days!
Getting the notifications on my phone and my laptop later that day, that it was time to check in for what would've been my flight home though, that was like salt in the wound.
Christmas day, once again, felt like a regular day. My energy was picking up so I tried to bake some fresh bread to have with breakfast like my dad always does Christmas morning, and mine didn't come out too bad.
Later that day for Christmas dinner, my family and I timed when we would finish cooking (or I would finish warm up the food they sent me) and I sat in front my screen again, having a virtual facetime Christmas dinner with my family.
Just another example of me being super super grateful for the access we have to technology.
By the time Christmas dinner is over, that's usually it for the Christmas celebrations in my house, and everyone more or less went about their business, or went to sleep the food off.
I hadn't given up all hope yet though.
While in isolation, I tried to change my flight for a later date instead.
I was hoping to ring in the new year 2022 with my family, but the only flights available were for the week after. I didn't mind - even if it meant I could go home for just a week, it would make all the difference.
New year's day came, some miscommunication led to me starting off the new year all on my own again, (another sad girl moment for the books) and the entire fireworks show was hidden behind some storm clouds from my location - but I was still pushing, driven by the brewing excitement and hope that I would be back home in just a few days.
My new flight was confirmed, and I was able to change the PCR travel test appointment for the day before my flight. I was trying my best to stay optimistic, despite the words from the doctor about the possibility of still testing positive long after your symptoms have subsided, ringing loudly in my ears.
At the testing office they told me I could request a fit to fly document if my test did show up positive, but in order to enter Trinidad & Tobago, they will only accept a negative PCR test.
By 9pm that same day, the email with my test results came in.
Inconclusive.
Less than 24 hours before my flight and I didn't know if I was still testing positive or negative - and inconclusive wouldn't get me on a flight to go back home.
So, I rebooked the PCR again for the MORNING of my flight.
When I got there, I asked them if there was any way to expedite the test, but after much back and forth, and being left with no solid answer to my questions, I gave up.
I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and I think this was just another case example for me. There were too many things working against me, stopping me from getting on a flight, so I accepted the defeat (not without a few tears) but my mom and granny also agreed that it just wasn't in the cards for me this time.
The 2021 holidays for me, were different; equally as disappointing, but that's just part of the possible downsides that come with trying to make travel plans in an ongoing pandemic.
For anyone who may have also caught COVID over the holidays and you weren't able to spend the time with your family, friends, and loved ones, I feel you - especially to those of us who haven't seen some of our loved ones in quite sometime. I hope you had a comfortable, stress-free quarantine and recovery, and are back to feeling good and feeling healthy.
I'm fully recovered now, and again, extremely grateful that my experience with COVID was manageable on my own. Some highs and lows, but I do believe that being fully vaccinated also helped immensely with the recovery period and process.
I miss my family a lot. Its now been more than 2 years since I've last seen them in person (aside from my sister), but best believe, third time's the charm - I will not be missing Christmas 2022.
What were your holidays like? Similar, or different to last year? Did COVID also thwart any holiday plans? Let me know in the comments!
Check out my TikTok video about spending the holidays abroad again here.
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